364 Days

Yesterday was a big day for me. What's so special about January 11, 2010? Not much, really. But it was the last day I had to pump.* Ava will be one tomorrow (where has this year gone?) so not only was it the last day I had to pump, but it also means I've successfully breastfed two kids to their first birthdays. In a country where only 22% of babies are still breastfeeding at all (let alone exclusively) after 12 months**, this is quite an accomplishment. I'm pretty proud of us for making it.

Both Jonah and Ava have been pretty easy to nurse. Both had good latches from the beginning. Both gained weight well. And I have had a lot of success with pumping, something that a lot of women are not fortunate enough to have. I understand that nursing can be really challenging and that for some (many?), formula seems so much easier and more convenient. But for me, there was never any question that I would breastfeed for at least six months, and ideally, til one year.

It hasn't always been easy, though. When Jonah was six months old, I went back to work full-time at a new job and I wasn't able to pump as often as I had at my previous, part-time position. For much of the second six months of his life, I lugged my pump home every night, and pumped once after he went to bed. I sometimes pumped on the weekends, too. It was the only way I could maintain a supply commensurate with his demand!

Nursing Ava has offered different challenges. I have been blessed, until recently, with an amazing supply, so I never had to pump extra at night or on weekends. And after winning the Sling and Swaddle Journey contest, I had two pumps, so I was able to leave one at work all the time and depend on my old pump when I needed it at home. Since I telecommute one day a week, I've even been able, sometimes, to nurse her on that day instead of pumping.

When Ava was about 8 months old, however, I started to have some big problems with pumping. I'll spare the audience the gory details, but suffice it to say the pumping became painful and I had serious and legitimate concerns about my ability to continue to pump at all. After enduring several weeks of discomfort, I finally figured out what was wrong, and I've been able to pump without problems ever since. Although we did end up taking Ava on a trip that was supposed to be our first non-kid getaway as a result.

Not too long after that, Ava started to perform acrobatics while nursing. I can't tell you how many times I've told her, "Ava! You can’t take that with you, it's attached!" She wiggles, climbs, looks around, you name it--all while trying to nurse. It's a normal part of nursing an older baby, but it led to two things. First, it became really challenging to nurse her in public, because all that moving around tends to leave me exposed. Not cool. Perhaps worse, though, she now gets so distracted that she has been nursing for shorter lengths of time. This, coupled with a one-week business trip during which I pumped exclusively (along with working 15 hour days—how fun!), has led to a decrease in my supply. If it had to happen, though, it couldn't have come at a better time. We started Ava's transition to cow's milk about a week ago, and it's going really well. We've gradually increased the amount of cow's milk mixed in with her breast milk, and tomorrow she'll start getting cow's milk exclusively. We also started giving her milk in sippy cups instead of bottles. I'll still nurse her whenever she wants to nurse, which, unfortunately, still includes 4 or 5 AM at this point. And we'll go as long as she wants to.

Jonah weaned himself at just about 16 months old. At that point, he was only nursing every other day, in the morning. One morning, he woke up, I went and got him from his crib, and asked him if he wanted to nurse. He said no, and that was the end of it. I had such mixed emotions about it. I knew we would have another, so I knew I'd do it again, but it was such a huge milestone. That was when I truly felt like he transitioned from baby to toddler or even kid.

I'm not sure how long Ava will nurse. I'll be away from her for five days in March, and I wonder if she'll be interested when I get back. I'm sure it will be even more bittersweet, since we're not planning to have any more children. The funny thing is, when you let your child decide when to wean, you never know which time will be the last. I'll just have to cherish each time I nurse her as if it were going to be the last time I do it, as if it's something really special.

Because regardless of whether it's the last time, or the second-to-last time, or the 100th-to-last time, it is something really special.

*I'm traveling for work in March, and if Ava is still nursing at all, I will likely pump once or twice a day. But I will do it kicking and screaming.

**The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends breastfeeding continue for at least 12 months, and the World Health Organization recommends breastfeeding until age 2 or beyond.